Okay, everyone, I dibs Allyson.
Allyson, the ceremony will be at Our Lady of Fatima Cathe--
| Joe: | Hold there, varlet! |
| Mateo: | Good God! It's Joe Scott!!! |
| Joe: | Unhand the lady, scurvy poltroon, for I claim her. |
| Mateo: | No way. You took Lauren from me. This one's mine. |
| Joe: | Nay, I say -- I claim her as my droit du seigneur. |
| Mateo: | We'll see about that, Gaelic dog! [lunges at adversary] |
| Joe: | Ugh! Thracian catamite! [grapples with Burtch, toppling into china cabinet] |
| Mateo: | Dravidian freebooter! |
| Joe: | Saracen pig! |
| Mateo: | Who are you calling David Sarasohn? |
They crash through a plate-glass windowof a department store.
| Joe: | Welsh corgi! |
| Mateo: | Mennonite haberdasher! |
| Joe: | Anthracite pedicurer! |
| Allyson: | Boys! Boys! Stop! Stop it! |
| Joe: | I'll see you in Hell ere I let this comely wench fall into your benighted hands, cur! |
| Mateo: | Have a care, my good man -- my broadsword thirsts for the blood of a scoundrel! |
| Joe: | Impudent crow! Sancho! My buckler! |
They continue to fight.
| Mateo: | Take that, wretched piscine troglodyte! [smashes punch bowl down on Scott's head] |
| Joe: | A scratch, weasel, and no more! [brings Empire State Building down on Burtch's chest] |
| Allyson: | Somebody go get the Principal! |
| Kevin: | Wait a minute. I'm lost. What page are we on? I thought we were doing Godot. |
More fighting.
| Pat: | Okay, what the hell is going on here? |
| Joe and Mateo: | It's Principal Pruyne! |
| Pat: | What is this crap? Look at the mess you've made. |
| Joe: | He started it. |
| Mateo: | He started it. He's always taking all the new girls in Introductions. |
| Joe: | I have seniority, you twit. Besides, they pass out when they get a whiff of you. |
| Mateo: | [long pause] So? |
| Pat: | All right, that's enough, you two. Allyson, I'm sorry you had to show up in rutting season. |
| Allyson: | Uh, yeah. Listen, I'm just gonna collect my things.... |
| Pat: | Now, I want you boys to shake hands and make friends. |
| Joe: | Well, all right. I guess. [offers handshake] |
| Mateo: | My bad. Sorry, man. |
They shake hands.
| Pat: | Good. Now, I want you both to go over to Girlytown and help Ann figure out what kind of jeans to buy. |
| Joe and Mateo: | Yes, sir. |
The End.