Jobs at UnDrownIt
At UnDrownIt, we believe that great is good, faster is
better, and doing the most is the best. We're a
fast-paced, dynamic team that believes in hard work,
hard play, and even harder work. We offer a fun,
dynamic, fast-paced environment where you'll have the
opportunity to learn from and serve the best. We
don't have an "open-door" policy; we don't have any
doors. Or windows. Or ventilation.
Or bathrooms. But if hard work, great apps,
Foosball, and Mountain Dew are your thing, you just
might be our thing.
Current opportunities:
Staff Visionary
As Staff Visionary, you'll
work to fully empower and leverage the full futuring of the
corporate vision sequence, from conception to inception, helping
to create thruway paths to further the development of open-gate
methodologies and 360-degree perception matrices. You'll
have critical input into the company's mission-critical
self-partnering relationships, including UnDrownIt's Strategic
Tone Messaging Database.
A minimum of four years' experience having visions is required
for this position.
Technology Visionist
You'll work as a key
building-block and Critical Function Cog (CFC) in the Corporate
Informationing Deployment Initiative, with responsibility for
the onboarding and dogfooding of double-wing non-topical
morphologies and bio-formative exo-nuclear transmatter imaging
cabriolets, prepubescent flensing nocturnal frangible cornhusker
feernap quemqualt speenum.
Visionist Intern
You'll work with the Staff
Visionary and Technology Visionary to further leverage
potentialities and create new linkages, while also integrating
existing, pre-leveraged potentialities and old linkages.
This is an unpaid position for an recent college graduate with
very low self-esteem.
To
apply, please email your
resume to jobs@undrownit.com.
UnDrownIt is an equal-opportunity employer.
Please, no girls or Negroes.
© 2014 Mateo
Burtch
